As a substitute of letting poisonous social media comparisons steal your pleasure, dealer Pam Blair writes, embrace what makes you totally different.
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“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt
It’s 6 p.m. I’m drained however comfortable as I sink into my sofa. The aroma of selfmade pasta sauce lingers within the air. My canine and I took a protracted, sunny stroll. Each activity on my calendar is checked off. It’s time to calm down.
Then, I begin scrolling.
Inside seconds, my temper plummets. A fellow agent twirls in glittering silver pants, celebrating her newest success. All of a sudden, my good day feels … much less. Did I do sufficient? Am I sufficient?
Social media works at lightning velocity. A examine from MIT discovered that our brains course of photos in simply 13 milliseconds. That’s how briskly comparability steals our pleasure.
The inevitable entice of comparability
Social comparability is hardwired into us. In 1954, psychologist Leon Festinger’s social comparability idea revealed our pure urge to guage ourselves towards others. In actual property — an trade constructed on relationships — this tendency is amplified.
There are two sorts of social comparability:
- Upward comparability: Taking a look at these forward of us for inspiration.
- Downward comparability: Taking a look at these behind us to really feel higher about ourselves.
As a lifelong overachiever, I’ve spent years measuring myself towards one of the best and brightest. Typically, it fuels me. Different occasions, it drains me.
However at present’s world has modified the sport. Social media has made comparability unavoidable, typically distorting actuality and turning what might be motivation into self-doubt.
The darkish aspect of social comparability
Social media offers us curated glimpses of others’ lives, not actuality. This fixed publicity can result in what psychologists name social comparability syndrome — or as some have coined it, obsessive comparability dysfunction.
Signs embody:
- Low shallowness
- Nervousness and melancholy
- Envy and resentment
- Emotions of inadequacy
- Physique-image points
- Social isolation
Even in the event you’re not a giant scroller, societal strain is all over the place. So how can we hold comparability from stealing our pleasure?
5 methods to handle social comparability
1. Apply the pause
Earlier than mindlessly scrolling, take a deep breath. Ask your self: Do I actually need to go down this rabbit gap? A ten-second pause may also help you make a aware selection fairly than an impulsive one.
2. Restrict social media use
Consciousness is vital. Observe how a lot time you spend scrolling. Set a timer if wanted. The objective isn’t to remove social media however to manage its affect in your mindset.
3. Be a creator, not only a client
I submit nearly every day, however I restrict my scrolling to simply 5 posts. This self-discipline lets me have interaction with out being sucked into the comparability entice.
4. Apply gratitude
Comparability thrives on a not-enough mindset. Gratitude is the antidote. Write down three stuff you’re grateful for every day. It shifts your focus from what you lack to what you’ve got.
5. Set objectives, and rejoice wins
Clear, practical objectives hold you grounded in your journey — not another person’s spotlight reel. I create yearly, month-to-month and every day objectives, protecting a imaginative and prescient board close by for perspective. And after I hit a milestone? I rejoice — whether or not it’s a pleasant dinner or a brand new toy for my canine.
Personal your distinctive path
In an trade the place success is commonly outlined by numbers, it’s simple to get caught up as compared. However actual property isn’t one-size-fits-all. The fantastic thing about this enterprise is that there are infinite methods to succeed.
As a substitute of letting comparability steal your pleasure, embrace what makes you totally different. Raise others up. Have a good time your wins. And keep in mind: Your journey is yours alone.
