I’m positive it says one thing about my persona that for the final three years, considered one of my New 12 months’s resolutions has been to “have more fun.” Okay, not merely to have extra enjoyable… however to be taught the way to have enjoyable. As a traditional Enneagram 3, my intense work ethic can typically be at odds with my final aim of residing life to the fullest. So, each January 1 after I journal about how I would like the subsequent yr to look, I inevitably write some model of the next: “More joy, more laughter, more play.”
Within the scheme of issues, the beginning of 2024 is way behind us. We’ve flown by winter, the spring, and now discover ourselves on the precipice of fall. It’s arguably the very best time of the yr—there’s hope and the promise of hotter, brighter days forward. However oftentimes, with the joy of our resolutions months behind us, our momentum slows. And recapturing the identical motivation we as soon as felt can appear not possible.
I’ve at all times skewed extra critical. Once I’m within the zone with a aim in thoughts, it’s exhausting for me to see outdoors my carefully-crafted plan of motion. However to be extra carefree, I do know that breaking that script is strictly what I must really feel extra pleasure in my on a regular basis expertise. Once I’m on a protracted hike or on the seashore, I simply move right into a headspace that’s extra about having fun with life as a substitute of checking issues off my to-do record. And sure, the fantastic thing about nature tends to awaken that spirit in many people. However I additionally assume that it has one thing to do with the truth that an interruption within the move of life makes us really feel extra alive.
The right way to Have Enjoyable in Life, Beginning At the moment
I began 2024 by downloading a e book that’s appropriately titled The Energy of Enjoyable: The right way to Really feel Alive Once more. The creator, Catherine Value (who additionally wrote this different favourite) begins by breaking down her definition of “true fun.” Seems, lots of the issues that we would assume are enjoyable are, upon additional examination, not that satisfying in any case. She classifies issues like binge-watching reveals and scrolling by social media as “fake fun.”
“Fake Fun is numbing and leaves us empty when we’re done. True Fun makes us feel nourished and refreshed.”
I consider that even when there are critical issues occurring on the earth round us, we will categorical empathy and compassion whereas additionally welcoming play and laughter into our days. Impressed by my readings and my experiences, that is how I’m studying to have enjoyable within the small, on a regular basis moments that convey surprise and pleasure to my life.
Enjoyable Is a Mindset
Let’s use an instance that the majority of us encounter each day: making dinner. There are two ladies making the very same dinner on a Tuesday evening. Let’s say, lasagna. One among them is midway listening to what she’s doing as she mulls over a difficulty at work that day whereas cursing herself for selecting a recipe that requires a number of layers of noodles/cheese/sauce as a result of she nonetheless has lunches to pack and emails to reply and… that is all just a bit an excessive amount of for a Tuesday.
The opposite lady? She’s barefoot within the kitchen with the music turned up, savoring the expertise of doing considered one of her favourite issues. Perhaps she recruits a member of the family to assist her layer. Perhaps she pours a glass of wine and savors the sensation of doing considered one of her favourite issues on a Tuesday evening. Similar circumstance, a completely totally different expertise.
Or take into consideration the straightforward act of getting a dialog, one thing we do on a regular basis, with strangers, household, and pals. What differentiates a boring dialog from one which counts as “banter,” and even, flirting? It’s all in how we select to see it.
True Enjoyable Is Playfulness, Connection, and Stream
In her e book, Value names three qualities that have to be current to expertise True Enjoyable in our lives: playfulness, connection, and move. Playfulness is that spirit of lightheartedness and freedom, the place you’re not considering a lot about on a regular basis tasks however as a substitute totally engaged in no matter you’re doing.
“When people are being playful, they sparkle.”
Connection is about having a shared expertise with one other particular person or factor. It could possibly be a connection to nature, an exercise you’re keen on (like drawing), an animal, or one other particular person. It occurs when an individual “joins together with someone while at the same time feeling totally themselves.”
And “flow” is a time period that describes the sensation of being engaged in your current expertise to the purpose that you just lose observe of time. It’s that feeling of getting misplaced in no matter you’re doing—as a result of it engages each a part of your being.
If my aim is to have extra enjoyable, I can search out experiences that embrace all three of those qualities, or search for methods to infuse extra of every of them into my day-to-day life. When playfulness, connection, and move are current, we get the magic of true enjoyable.
Embrace the Concept of Unconditional Enjoyable
My definition of unconditional enjoyable is that this: you don’t want to attend till issues are a sure strategy to be having enjoyable. It’s not depending on what’s occurring round us. Slightly, it’s an inner vitality shift—a method of transferring by the world that’s not so depending on exterior circumstances. Image that one that looks as if they’re at all times having a blast. (Drew Barrymore, anybody?) Magnetic, proper? I’ve been searching for these small moments of enjoyment that may be discovered even on an imperfect day. Once I’m paying cautious, conscious consideration, all the pieces involves life.
Have Extra Enjoyable by Breaking the Script
A few years in the past, I learn and cherished a e book known as The Energy of Moments. It’s all about how we will create extra reminiscences and extraordinary moments in our lives. One of many greatest takeaways for me was an idea known as “breaking the script.” The thought is that by doing one thing surprising, we flip off our autopilot and remodel routine moments into one thing extra enjoyable.
“Break the Script” Moments I’ve Been Embracing Recently:
- After dinner, as a substitute of turning on TV, take a household stroll across the neighborhood.
- Take a shower with an awesome podcast on my headphones—in the course of the day!
- Discover one thing you’re keen on about somebody in your life and inform them.
- As an alternative of watching my children play dodgeball, soar in and play with them full cease. (This additionally occurs to be an unbelievable exercise.)
- Make fancy cocktails (or mocktails!) on the weekend.
- Do one thing you’ve by no means completed earlier than. I’ve been eager to attempt mountain climbing.
- Make a brand new recipe.
- Learn poetry as a substitute of nonfiction.
- Search for alternatives for random acts of kindness. Belief me, they’re in every single place.
- When the children are of their pajamas for mattress, announce that we’re going to get ice cream.
- Purchase myself flowers—and splurge on the peonies.
- Get up early for a morning meditation on the again patio. There’s one thing about watching the dawn that modifications my complete day.
Begin Saying Sure
Don’t get me incorrect—I’m over the period of embracing all the pieces simply because the chance presents itself. As an alternative, I’m speaking about saying an intentional sure. Meaning you’ve thought-about the request and mirrored on whether or not or not it aligns together with your current vitality or maybe the objectives you’re seeking to embrace. It’s all about taking that conscious pause earlier than committing. However when you’ve determined it helps the trail you’d prefer to pursue? That’s when you possibly can dive all-in.
So whether or not it’s a spontaneous journey, a brand new job alternative, or just an invite to seize espresso with a brand new buddy, replicate on what your sure actually means—and proceed accordingly.
Spontaneity Is the Spice of Life
I additionally realized in The Energy of Moments that novel experiences make time appear to decelerate and carve out reminiscences in our mind. As children, we had been experiencing so many issues for the primary time. As an alternative of checking “water the plants” off our to-do record, we had been wanting on the tiny wings of a hummingbird or watching an earthworm burrow into the soil. I’ll always remember my mother’s occasional bulletins of “banana splits for dinner!” Certain, it wasn’t wholesome per se, however the spontaneity of these nights fed my spirit in a method that broccoli by no means would have.
I ponder if, as a substitute of taking a look at unknowns and uncertainties in our lives as “stressful,” we may reframe them as an opportunity to get again in contact with our inside child that lived daily? We couldn’t plan all the pieces then—and there’s quite a bit we will’t plan for now.
So let’s totally have interaction with life. Smile generously, chortle simply, search for alternatives for enjoyable, and disrupt the routine. Life’s too brief. I’m able to play.
