October is New Agent Month at Inman. Comply with alongside as we go deeper on the instruments, tech and ideas you’ll must survive and thrive in 2024. For curated content material crafted only for first-year brokers, you’ll want to subscribe to our weekly e-newsletter, The Fundamentals.
You simply introduced a very low supply, and one of many sellers goes ballistic. How do you reply: “Fight, flight or freeze?”
Actual property brokers at present are continually bombarded by high-pressure situations that may ship their physique into overdrive, flooding it with the stress hormones epinephrine (adrenaline), norepinephrine and cortisol.
Examples embrace:
- Getting caught in site visitors once you’re working late for an vital itemizing presentation.
- The client’s deal falls by because of an sudden tax lien being positioned on the property, their lease is up and so they have nowhere to dwell.
- Your vendor calls you in a rage as a result of the purchaser’s agent confirmed the home and forgot to lock the entrance door.
Battle, flight or freeze?
Physiologist Walter Cannon described the “fight or flight” response in 1932. While you understand a menace like a screaming vendor, your struggle or flight response kicks in. This causes your physique to launch epinephrine (adrenaline) and norepinephrine into your bloodstream, your coronary heart price and blood stress enhance, your pupils dilate, and your veins transfer away out of your pores and skin to reduce blood loss in case you’re injured.
What most individuals don’t talk about is a 3rd response known as “freeze.” That is generally described as “the deer in the headlights.” A typical instance amongst kids is after they’re actually scared at evening, they may “freeze” in place within the hope that no matter is scaring them will go away.
I keep in mind going into freeze mode once we had been at one among my purchasers and I had been strolling down the steps to accommodate for a exhibiting. Curled up proper by the entrance door was a giant rattlesnake. I simply stood there looking at that massive fats snake.
A number of moments later, one other couple and their son completed their exhibiting. As they had been leaving, the little boy turned to his dad and mom and mentioned, “Hey look — a rattlesnake! Cool!”
Evidently, my shopper and I made a decision to skip the exhibiting and go on to the subsequent one.
Battle, flight or freeze when negotiating
Right this moment, brokers are continually bombarded with struggle, flight or freeze conditions. Examples embrace being caught in site visitors once you’re already late for an appointment, studying that an actual property transaction isn’t going to shut on time and that your patrons might be out on the road with no place to dwell, or receiving an irate name from a vendor who discovered their home was left open after a exhibiting.
Except you’re unusually calm and centered, every of those conditions can set off the cascade of struggle, flight or freeze responses in your physique.
For example how this works once you’re negotiating, let’s return to the instance of presenting a low supply the place the vendor goes ballistic.
Right here’s how the struggle, flight or freeze reactions would possibly play out in every of those situations:
Battle
Develop into offended, confront the vendor, and inform him his itemizing is horribly overpriced.
The problem with this strategy is that once you change into offended, you solely escalate the scenario. As Expensive Abby as soon as mentioned, “The next time you feel like fighting fire with fire, remember that the fire department uses water.”
A greater struggle strategy can be to keep away from this case by anticipating the vendor’s struggle response and taking steps to avert it.
A wonderful manner to do that is to elucidate to the vendor:
“My buyers have elected to write an offer that is substantially under your asking price. About 50 percent of the time these initial low offers turn into a closed transaction. I would like to request that you go through the offer, see what terms are agreeable, and then give me a counteroffer to see if this offer will be one of the 50 percent that will close. Does that work for you?”
Flight
If the vendor begins screaming, one response is to face up and go away the room.
A more practical strategy can be to say:
“Mr. Seller, would you please speak softly to me so I can understand what you are saying.”
If the vendor continues his rant, repeat your request:
“Mr. Seller, would you please speak softly to me so I can understand what you are saying; otherwise, I will have to leave.”
If this doesn’t work, arise and excuse your self by saying:
“I’m leaving now. Please contact me if you have any interest in pursuing this offer.”
Freeze
When most brokers discover themselves in a scenario the place a vendor is screaming at them, they go into freeze mode. The response is so sudden that they merely sit there and do nothing.
There isn’t a purpose that you just or some other agent ought to need to tolerate abusive therapy from a shopper. Whereas the vendor feels nice about unloading, you now change into the one who’s risking a stress-related sickness. At all times keep in mind, you possibly can stroll away.
Keep away from stress-related diseases
Actual property could be confrontational, and long-term stress places you at increased threat for coronary heart illness, hypertension and even most cancers. In case you are unable to keep away from a stress-provoking scenario, take steps to launch your anger once you get dwelling.
Bodily launch
Train is a strong option to rid your physique of adrenaline. Alternatively, releasing frustration by pounding a pillow or working towards deep respiration can assist you reset.
Psychological calm
In irritating negotiations, let go of being “right” and deal with lively listening. Asking questions and taking notes permits the opposite occasion to really feel heard and reduces their anger whereas additionally minimizing the struggle, flight, or freeze response and your personal stress response.
In high-pressure conditions, mastering your struggle, flight or freeze response could be the distinction between an offended shopper or a closed transaction. In the end, preserving your cool helps you shut extra offers whereas concurrently defending your well being and well-being.
Bernice Ross, president and CEO of BrokerageUP and RealEstateCoach.com, and the founding father of RealEstateWealthForWomen.com is a nationwide speaker, writer and coach with over 1,500 revealed articles.
